Funny Jokes at Blokes Night In

Jokes...............................

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Golf Joke - Good Shot
A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed like an eternity. He was driving his golf partner mad as he looked up, looked down, measured
the distance, and worked out the wind direction and speed. Finally, his exasperated partner said "what's taking you so long? Hit the damn
ball!"

The bloke answered, "My wifes up there watching me from the club house, I want to make this shot perfect."

His golf partner says "Forget it mate, you'll never hit her from here!"

Pope joke and football fans.

A very Holy young boy is going to the Vatican with his Mum to see the pope.
The boy is a bit worried about whether or not they will see the pope amongst the thousands of people. His Mum says, "Don'y worry son, the
Pope is a big football fan, so i'll buy you a QPR strip. The Pope will see the famous hooped strip and he'll talk to you."

So they buy the strip and the boy has it on while they are standing in the crowd as the Pope goes along in his Popemobile. Next thing John
Paul stops the Popemobile and gets out to talk to a different boy wearing a Manchester United top. Then he gets back into the Popemobile
and drives right past the QPR fan. The little boy is very upset and is in tears.

"Don't worry," says his Mum. "I'll buy you a Man U strip, and we'll come back tomorrow and then the pope is guaranteed to stop to talk to you."

So the boy comes back the next day, now wearing the Man United top. The Popemobile comes along and the boy is all excited.
The Popemobile stops and John Paul gets out, bends down to talk to the boy, and says, "I hate Manchester United, I thought I told you to P*ss
off yesterday!"

Footballing Flies Joke

Some flies were playing football in a saucer using a sugar lump as a ball. One fly says to the others, "We'll have play better than this lads,
we're playing in the cup tomorrow!"

Guilty Conscience Joke

Dave had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sence of betrayal were
overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You weren't the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you are a single man, let
it go!"

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality "Dave, You are a VET!!!"

Nightmare Joke

After a long night of love making the man rolls over and grabs a cigarette from his jeans and looks for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the
girl if she has one to hand.
"There may be some matches in the top drawer." she replies.

He opens the drawer and finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed photo of another man! Naturally the man begins to worry, "Is
this your Husband?" he asked nervously.

"No silly." She replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" He asked.
"No not at all." She replied, nibbling his ear.
"Well, who is it then?" Demamded the confused man.

Calmly the girl replies "That's me before the operation!"

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